In a previous post, I wrote about why rejection hurts so much and what to do about it. Here, I will focus on dealing with rejection. It is important to understand why rejection hurts so much before embarking on how to deal with it.
The first thing is to acknowledge the experience, accept that it was painful and acknowledge the feelings that come along with it. Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling-the anger, hurt, shame, anxiety, sadness- allow yourself to feel all of it. Don’t try to hide from them or push them away. While you should not allow your feelings to take over your behavior or remain stuck in that emotional space, you shouldn’t try to shut them off completely.
As difficult as it may be, avoid dwelling on the event. Ruminating on the rejection can wreak havoc on major areas of your life and get you stuck in a negative cycle. It is important to
“Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.” Proverbs 4:25 (NIV).
Be around or in communication with trusted family and friends. You may not necessarily have to share with them the hurt, (although that would be beneficial). Allow them to be there for you and to offer you love, care and support. Positive social interactions can provide natural pain relief. The Word of God tells us to “Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)
Take care of yourself. Engage in activities that you find relaxing, restful, fun and/or productive. Be kind to yourself and always remember to love yourself. Self-compassion teaches us that we can be a friend to ourselves even when we go through rejection.
Understand that you may go through the stages of grief- denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.
Pray and trust God. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV). “The righteous cry out and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.” Psalm 34: 17-19 (NIV)
Give yourself time to heal; be patient with yourself. Scripture encourages us to “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” Romans 12:12 (ESV)
Seek professional help and support. Counselling is a great opportunity for self-exploration and self-discovery. A counselling professional will help you to understand and manage your current situation and help you towards living your life more effectively and to developing an action-oriented prevention mindset in your life. You may book an appointment with Audrey, an accredited therapist on +254 715940564 (call, text, WhatsApp) or email audreyhongo@gmail.com for counselling and wellness services.
Remember that rejection is a natural part of life. It is challenging and disheartening and may put us down, but we ought to hold on to the Word of the Lord that says “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed” 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 (ESV)
Audrey is a counselling and wellness psychologist and training expert with a passion for helping individuals and organisations attain their highest emotional and psychological health levels.
As the lead consultant at Halisi Counseling & Wellness Services, her consultancy portfolio spans a wide spectrum of sectors and includes services such as psychospiritual counselling, adolescent psychological counseling, trauma counseling, self-awareness and development and training and facilitation sessions for groups and organisations.
Facebook Halisi Counseling and Wellness Services
Instagram Halisi Counseling Services
LinkedIn Audrey M. Hongo
Email audreyhongo@gmail.com
Psychologist's Perspective 